


More Than Anything

by Destiel_Cockles



Series: Wincest Firsts [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: (sam will be top in ch 2), Anal Sex, Bottom Sam, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Set in Season 1, Sexual Content, Smut, Top Dean, Topping from the Bottom, Wincest - Freeform, right after Dean got Sam from Stanford
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 12:37:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1818778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiel_Cockles/pseuds/Destiel_Cockles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They thought their feelings would have lessened when Sam went off to Stanford, but they got so much more intense, especially the second they laid eyes on each other for the first time after being apart for so long.</p><p>They had been on the road for a few days now, and the sexual tension is more than either of them can take, Sam makes a move and Dean gives in a little but his conscious keeps catching up to him, so Sam does everything he can to get Dean to give into what he knows they both want and need more than anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Anything

Dean glanced over at his brother, they were on the road and had been driving for almost eleven hours and Sam was fast asleep. Dean had been watching him more than he was watching where he was driving. Sam was slouched down, much too tall to be sleeping in the front seat. It almost seemed like he had gotten taller while he was away. His longish messy hair was falling over his eyes and every once in awhile he would softly moan or mutter something in his sleep. Dean noticed Sam shift closer, his mouth moving a little and his dimples pushing in for a few seconds. Dean sucked in a breath, between things like that and the noises Dean was going completely insane. He needed to get out of the car for a few minutes.  He finally saw a gas station up ahead and pulled in. Dean got out and carefully closed the door, normally he would have slammed it and woken his brother up but he knew Sam was wore out, after not working the job for so long he was no longer used to the long hours and intense labor involved. 

Dean filled up the tank and bought a few cold beers, when he started the Impala Sam stirred but didn't wake up. Dean looked at Sam for a few minutes, more than anything he wanted to be with his brother but he could never do that. He figured he had a fucked up enough of his life as it was, and Dean was sure it would just screw it up even more. That had been the one and only reason he had not put up a fight when Sam went off to college. He wanted more than anything for Sam to have a normal life, he just never imagined he would want one with out him or that he would not at least try to get Dean to go with him or even visit him once in a while. Dean shifted the car into gear and started driving, he tried to forget about Sam leaving. It was what he did best, bury the feelings deep enough that he could pretend they did not exist and that bad things never happened. It was the only way he could keep it together, and the only thing that mattered to him now was that Sam was back in his life, even though he felt immensely guilty that he went back and got him. He probably could have found their dad on his own, he had not even really been working with his dad much since Sam left but there was no way in hell Dean could live another day without Sam by his side. It might not be exactly the way he had always wanted it to be, but it was better to have Sam in his life and see him everyday while silently suffering the constant heartache and desperation of wanting more than anything to be with him than it would be to hate his life even more and not have Sam in his life at all, he had done that and it was the single worst thing to ever happen to him.

Dean had been driving for about ten minutes when Sam started gradually shifting closer. He didn't notice until he was turning to merge onto another highway and Sam slid into him. Dean tried gently pushing him over a little but Sam just made a noise and laid his head on Dean's shoulder, occasionally moving his head or rubbing his nose against him. He knew he should just shove him over or wake him up, but he didn't want to. It wasn't like Sam would flip out, he had always laid on Dean in the backseat when they were kids and their dad was hauling them all over the country or when they shared a narrow bed at the crappy motels their dad left them at, most of the time Sam was laying across him. Dean missed it, and as bad as he wanted it to be so much more he couldn't. Ever since he had picked Sam back up the feelings for him and desire to be with him had intensified. Dean had tried everything he could to get over the constant desire to be with his brother while he was away. He went out and messed around with more girls than he would ever want to admit, but he never felt a damn thing toward any of them. Even when he found the rare really decent girl he could not stop thinking about his brother. 

Sam was rolling his head around, Dean figured he was uncomfortable so he automatically put his arm around him without even thinking. Sam instantly curled up closer to him, his head was now laying on Dean's chest. He moved his head a little then brought a hand up and placed it under his head, right over Dean's nipple. Now every time Sam moved or the car hit a bump Sam was rubbing Dean's nipple and he was about to lose it. Sam's hand inched down and eventually rested high on Dean's thigh. Dean sucked in a breath, he couldn't do this anymore. He was so damn horny he could barely stand it. Unlike Dean, Sam was a pretty sound sleeper so at the next stoplight Dean maneuvered his brother back to his side of the car.

Dean ran his hand though his hair and took a deep breath. He really wished he could stop thinking about his brother that way. Dean sped up, he had to get to the city where they were working their next job and get a motel. The only thing he wanted more than his brother was to take a shower, he needed to jerk off and then pound his head against the wall until he stopped wanting his brother.

Sam had just woken up, he had been half asleep when his brother moved him over. He sort of woke up while he was laying against Dean's chest and he loved the feeling. It made him feel so safe and loved, so much that he fell back asleep and had woken up when he warmth of his brother under him was gone. Sam wished more than anything things could be like that and more, he wanted his brother so damn bad. He wasn't sure how long he had been asleep but it had to have been for quite awhile. Sam had no idea how Dean could drive for days like it was nothing and get by on a few hours of sleep. Dean hadn't noticed that Sam was awake yet, he was drinking a beer and softly singing along to the radio. His right arm was on the steering wheel and Sam couldn't take his eyes off of it. Right before he had fallen asleep they were driving through Texas, he had no idea where they were but it was still ridiculously hot. Dean had taken off his plaid shirt, and was wearing a tight black wife-beater. Looking at his biceps made Sam feel that familiar twitch in his boxers he got every time he noticed something like this about Dean. His muscle flexed as he turned to get on an exit ramp off of the main highway. Sam sucked in a breath, Dean had gotten even more muscular while he was away, and Sam could barely take his eyes off of him.

Sam had always gotten caught up in looking at his gorgeous brother, most of the time Sam was too busy looking at his body to notice what was going on around him. There were way too many distractions with Dean. Like his eyes, they were so green and beautiful, framed by long dark eyelashes. His lips were so full and luscious that Sam spend half the time looking at them imaging what it would be like to kiss them, and the other half what they would look like stretched across his cock. His entire body was hot, from his perfect abs to his tight perky ass. Even the way he walked, the way his legs bowed out, drove Sam insane. Then when he spoke, his voice was so deep and sexy, especially the way he drawled sometimes. 

When Sam made the decision to go to Stanford in the first place a big deciding factor was that maybe if he could get away for a little bit he would be able to get over the feelings, after all it was hard to forget about someone when you spent every waking moment with them. He had been so wrong, he spend a majority of his time missing Dean, wondering what he was doing and worrying that something might happen to him. He had almost called Dean several times everyday, and it kind of hurt that Dean never called him. But he didn't expect him too, he knew he had hurt Dean by him going, but being Dean he pushed how he was feeling aside and told Sam that he needed to go and live his own life. Sam had seen the pain in his eyes when he left, and the pure joy in them when Sam told him a few days earlier that he was going to be staying with him.

Sam was so glad that Dean had finally come to get him, he had actually been waiting for him to do it. Sam never would have imagined he would let him go in the first place, he had hoped he would have went with him and they could finally be together, or even just put up a fight and beg him to stay. He thought Dean would have come a lot sooner but all that mattered now was that they were together again, now Sam just had to get them to actually be together. He had been worried that Dean would have all sorts of resentment towards him for having left. Dean wasn't exactly a share your feelings type of person, and one of the biggest things Dean had a hard time doing was expressing his emotions, although Sam could always tell how he was feeling. He knew Dean better than anyone, better than Dean knew himself and sometimes Sam felt like he even knew Dean better than Sam knew himself, because Sam had so many feelings he was confused by. The biggest one being the fact that he was in love with his brother.

Not that Sam thought that Dean would ever act on any feelings he might have for him. It took Sam a long time to realize that Dean did feel the same for him, but he knew his brother would never ever admit to it. At one time Sam had been naive enough to think there was a small possibility that Dean was cracking and about to give in, but he was just too stubborn to admit it. Every time Sam caught Dean looking at him, or the way he reacted when Sam would brush up against him or touch him, the glimmer of hope would get a little bigger. Sam had even tried making a move a few times, but he would lose his nerve because he was too worried about Dean hating him if he was wrong about how he felt. Then Dean would go out to a bar and hook up with some random girl and all hope would be lost.

As soon as Dean turned onto the freeway, he pushed the can of beer he was drinking between his legs to hold it so he could grab the map from the visor. Sam's eyes were now glued to his crotch. Damn his sexy brother and his tight jeans. He was starting, noticing how his jeans were looking a little tighter than they were earlier, a nice big bulge starting to form. Sam licked his lips and must have made a noise because Dean glanced over at him, his mossy green eyes flashing. He smirked at Sam then grinned that sexy smile that made Sam's dick twitch even harder.

"Damn Sammy, 'bout time you get up. You might have slept all day at school, stayin' out all night doing kegstands and jello shots but this is serious business."

"I never went to parties, I was there to go to school."

Dean had been taking a a swig of his beer and almost choked. "What? Shit, if I went to college I would be partying every fucking night, hitting up all the sororities and livin' it up. You would go there and just be a fucking nerd."

"Where the hell are we anyway?"

"Just outside of Albuquerque."

"What? No way, we had just gotten to Texas."

"You've been passed out for like five hours dude. Maybe even more."

Sam rubbed his eyes and glanced at his watch. "Oh damn. I'm sorry you should have woken me up."

"Nah. I was enjoying the quiet, I'm not used to someone bitching about how long we've been in the car."

"Yeah, dad isn't exactly a conversationalist."

Dean chuckled. "Got that right. We didn't work a whole lot of jobs together though, especially the last few months."

"Really? Why?"

Dean shrugged. "I dunno at first I had to just take a few weeks to myself. Figured it was a good opportunity since he was already pissed so he didn't give a fuck at that point. Told him I'd find my own jobs and he let me leave without even arguing. Went to help him on a job after about a month and worked a few with him here and there. He was always in a pissy fucking mood. If you could imagine it being worse than before. Think he couldn't take my awesome sense of humor anymore either."

"Not many people can."

"Shut up, I'm hilarious."

"So...you've mostly been alone this whole time?" Sam felt a little guilty, he knew it would not have been much better for him if he would have had to be with their dad the entire time. Sam didn't even want to think about what kind of mood John had been in after he had left. 

"Well, there were plenty of nights I had company." Dean laughed and winked at Sam. "I saw him pretty often, we'd meet up for jobs every few weeks but I have to admit, it was nice as hell to get away. I guess in a way you kinda did me a favor because he was to the point he didn't care what I did anymore. It was better for me that way, all he did was drink and you know how he is when he's drunk."

"Dean, I’m sorry that I-"

Dean interrupted Sam, giving him a warning look. "Don’t"

"But I know that it probably k-"

 _“Sammy,"_  Dean snapped sharply. "I told you…just stop talking about it. I don't want to hear about it ever again."

Dean scrubbed his hand over his face. He never wanted to talk about it again because he still had a hard time keeping his emotions in check when he thought about it. He knew that Sam knew it hurt him when he left but he didn't want Sam to know how much it actually had affected him, because really it almost killed him. Right before Sam had said he was going to leave Dean had thought things were great between them, and that maybe one day they would even be together like he wanted and knew Sam secretly wanted too. But he had been delusional, Dean knew he could never do that, not to Sam. He was Sam’s brother, his protector, he had pretty much raised him and there was no way in Hell he could fuck his life up anymore than it already had been. He had wanted Sam to be happy, even though he did not want Sam to leave back then, he had to let him go if that was what he wanted, and Dean wanted him to have a normal life, he really did but he would never have thought Sam would chose a life with out him, or that he would not even call once he was gone.

Dean had no idea why he had just talked about it at all, he had to keep up appearances and pretend it didn't phase him anymore and that it was all good so Sam didn't know how the day he left he spiraled into a deep depression and had been in a really really bad place with drugs and alcohol. Dean had pretty much cut back on everything except the drinking before he got Sam. He felt a little guilty for resenting the fact that Sam had left, that Sam had a girlfriend and most of all that if he had been right about how he suspected Sam felt about him that he had done any of it in the first place. But what hurt him the most as the fact that if it had been the other way around there would be nothing that would make him ever leave Sam-no matter what, no matter how bad things got in his life or no matter what was offered in exchange for leaving Sam, Dean would  _never_  ever do it. Not for all the happiness possible or all the money in the world, not even for a normal life for them both.

Dean finished his beer and crushed the can, tossing it out the window. Sam sighed and Dean glanced over at him and rolled his eyes. "Spare me the I'm destroying the planet speech. I forgot I'm riding with a tree hugging, salad muncher."

"I didn't say anything."

"Didn't have to. I know you and I know that sigh."

Dean was absently starting to scratch a really annoying itch and let his hand palm his aching cock a few times, after driving around for nearly a year by himself he got used to doing things like that. He realized what he was doing and glanced over at Sam, who of course was watching him.

"Didn't think me scratching my balls was that interesting but you seem to really enjoy watching it."

Sam felt his face burn and looked out the window.

"Blow me," Sam said automatically, immediately regretting his choice of words. He would love Dean to blow him, and he wanted to blow Dean even more.

"Maybe later," Dean shot back, gliding his tongue over his lips and winking at Sam.

Sam gulped, he was so used to saying things like that back and forth playfully with Dean. In true Winchester fashion, true feelings are never the ones that the person is expressing, so most of his life when Sam was acting like a petulant brat, mad that his brother was teasing him he really was dying to just tell his brother that he wanted him. Dean had always flirted with him, but Dean always flirted. Sam had noticed that he only flirted with him and girls, he'd never seen him flirt with another guy, but it had to be because he was his brother. There was no way Dean would ever want to actually be with him.

Sam shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He was getting so hard, his jeans were starting to get really uncomfortable. Dean just had that affect on him, it didn't matter if he was being flirty, talking about sex or doing nothing at all, every damn thing he said or did turned Sam on. 

Dean glanced over at Sam, he had his arms crossed over his chest and was glaring out the window.

"You OK Sammy? Are you hungry, wanna get something to eat?"

"NO," Sam snapped.

"What's with you today? You're being....weird. Even for you."

"Shut the fuck up Dean, I'm not fucking weird. You are."

"Whoa. The fuck Sam? One minute you’re all happy and then you get in one of your emo bitch-fit moods. What the fuck did I do to you now?"

Sam looked over at his brother, feeling a little bad for being in a bitchy mood and taking his sexual frustration out on him. He wished he could take his frustrations out on him sexually. He was so extremely horny and extremely tired of hiding his feelings for his brother. He had to do something, and he had to do it soon before he went fucking insane.

Sam shook his head. "Nothing, just....I'm tired and hungry. Look, I'm sorry...."

Dean let out a deep breath. His brother was worse than a hormonal teenage girl sometimes. He looked over at Sam, even when he was being weird and emotional he was still fucking adorable. He had always been adorable, but Sam had somehow gotten even more adorable, and the instant Dean saw him that night he picked him up every piece of himself that had been shattered and broken when he left came together again. Sam was all he really needed or wanted, but things would be even better if he could actually be with him.

Dean looked back at the road for awhile, not saying anything. He figured he'd let Sam get over whatever had him in a shitty mood. When he looked back over and those beautiful blue-green eyes were staring at him. When Sam saw Dean's eyes on him he smiled, pushing in those dimples that drove Dean insane. Dean quickly tried to focus back on the road. He had the suspicion that Sam felt the same way he did, wanting something more and that his feelings were now stronger too. But Dean couldn't give in, it was the only reason he had let him go off to school without putting up a fight. He wanted him to stay more than anything, but he could not stand the thought that his brother liked him like that too because in his mind it was all his fault. He was certain that because Sam had figured out he felt that way, and because he was older that he had somehow led him on and caused him to think that it was OK. Dean had to get his mind off of this, it was consuming his every thought again like it always had but now it was so much more intense. 

Sam could tell by the way Dean kept longingly looking over at him that he wanted him more than ever. Maybe tonight would be the night Sam would finally get up enough courage to make a move. He could not wait to get to a motel and figure out what to do. "So how much longer until we get there?"

"Too long. At least another hour."

"You want me to drive? You've been driving forever, you've gotta be tired."

"I'm just tired of being on the road..." Dean trailed off. He really had enough of being in the car, he felt like if he drove one more second he would go completely insane. "You know what? Fuck it, let's just stop at the next motel we see and get a room. We can finish driving tomorrow. Cool?"

Sam could not agree with him fast enough, he probably sounded a little desperate but he was. 

"So are you hungry?"

Sam nodded.

"Let's get the room and you can go get us some food while I take a shower."

After about five minutes Dean saw a motel and pulled in. After they checked in and paid for the room, Sam helped Dean bring their stuff in then took off to get them something to eat while Dean went to go take a shower.

As soon as Dean got into the shower he immediately started jerking off. Dean had been so damn horny the entire day, Sam had been driving him crazy the whole time he was driving. Between watching Sam sleep, and the way he was looking at him with his beautiful eyes staring at him and his smile that drove him crazy it had taken every ounce of restraint not to pull over and pull him into the backseat and fuck him like there was no tomorrow. He had almost totally lost it when Sam was laying on him, Dean's cock a had been aching and throbbing the entire time.

Sam was only gone about ten minutes. When he got back he was expecting Dean to be done with his shower and ready to eat, since Dean was always ready to eat. He was surprisingly still in the shower, which actually should not have surprised Sam much because they had been on the road for an entire day and Dean had not gone out to a bar to hook up with a girl like he normally did. Sam knew he was in there jerking off because when Dean didn't get any, he usually added an extra jerk off session to his routine, and he always took an extra shower to do it. Sam shook his head, it was pretty sad that he knew all about his brother's masturbation habits. He knew way too much about how and when his brother masturbated, he knew he did it every night and again in the morning when he took a shower, and since his brother always seemed to be horny he sometimes did it another time or two through out the day. Sam even knew the noises he tried desperately not to make, and sadly he could even tell when he was about to come because he always made this incredibly sexy groany-grunting noise. It wasn't just because he grew up sharing a room or sometimes a bed with him, it was because Sam always pretended to be asleep, he would stay up listening to his brother jerk off and wish he was doing it for him or that they were doing things like that together. 

Now that Sam thought about it, he was very surprised that in the past few days he had been with his brother he hadn't seen him hook up with a girl, he jerked off a lot, but he had always done that whether he was having sex or not. Sam wondered if his brother was also thinking about making a move, because Sam had never seen Dean go more than a day without at least going to a bar so he could mess around or hook up with a girl, or at the very least get a blow job in the car while Sam had to wait in the bar. They had gone to a bar the night Dean picked him up and Dean had ignored several girls who were hitting on him, he stayed by Sam's side the entire night, worried that Sam was going to lose it after all of the crazy messed up shit he had gone through.

The more Sam thought about it, the more he realized Dean was getting to a breaking point, he was slowly cracking. Sam could tell that he was not going to be able to hide his feelings or control his desires much longer. He knew without a doubt that Dean did want to be with him as much as Sam wanted it. Sam was so tired of hiding it and wanting it so bad. Sam decided that as soon as Dean was finished eating he was going to make his move, and hopefully he would not get too anxious and wuss out this time. 

Sam sat down at the table and started eating. He heard the water turn off and a few minutes later he heard Dean swear. The door opened and he stuck his head out. “Hey, I grabbed your bag by mistake go get me mine.”

"Get it yourself jerk. You’re like three feet away from it."

Dean grumbled “Bitch,” under his breath and flung Sam’s bag out the door, coming out with a towel wrapped around his waist. Sam immediately regretted not just getting it for him because seeing Dean in a towel was the last thing he needed right now, he was already hard and now he felt his erection start to throb. He noticed that Dean was still slightly wet, his dick noticed too and started to harden even more. He looked incredibly sexy, and Sam could not stop staring because he never got to see enough of Dean's body. Sam rubbed his palm over the front of his jeans and tried to look down at his food but his eyes kept looking up at his brother. 

Dean tossed his bag on the bed and started digging through it. Sam took a bite of his salad and just as he was starting to chew, Dean pulled the towel from around his waist off, drying his hair and the rest of his body. Sam froze, he felt heat coursing though his body as he stared at his brother's totally perfect, totally naked body. As much as Sam wanted him to turn around, he hoped he didn't because he was hard core staring at his brother's ass and he could not tear his eyes away. Sam took deep breath and tried to look down as he attempted to swallow the food that had been sitting in his mouth. Just as he was trying to swallow, he glanced up for one more quick peek. Dean turned a little as he stepped into his boxers, of course Sam had been watching him. When he saw his brother's semi-hard cock he immediately started choking hard, standing up and walking over to the sink.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Told you not to eat that stupid-" Dean looked up and realized Sam was actually choking.  _"Shit."_

Dean ran up behind Sam and hit him hard on the back. When that didn't work he wrapped his arms around Sam, pulling him tight against his body and thrust his fist into his stomach, the piece of lettuce dislodging from Sam’s throat.

"Jesus Sam, you kill fucking werewolves and demons but almost choke to death on some damn rabbit food."

"Shut up." Sam croaked, his voice rough. He gulped down water to ease the burning in his throat.

"Slow down dude, you’re gonna choke on that shit too. Want me to cut your food up in little pieces for you?"

Sam gave him a bitchface and sat back down. Dean walked back over to his bed and put his jeans on, bending over to pick up the towel. He threw it in the bathroom and put his shirt on as he walked over to the table then sat down. Sam shook his head, he was so messed up. He choked because seeing Dean naked was too much when he was that horny. Even though he had seen Dean naked countless times, every time he did it almost gave him a stroke. Sam had it so bad for his brother when he was choking the only thing he could think about was how good it felt when Dean pulled him against his body. Sam liked how it felt that he had forcefully wrapped his arms around him. Now all the could think about was Dean fucking him, really hard and rough, holding him down with his big muscular arms and-

 _“Sam!”_   Dean yelled, as he snapped his fingers in front of his brother's face.

Sam shook his head and looked up at Dean. Dean squinted, looking at him strange. “What the fuck is with you today? My god you’re being a freak.”

"Shut up. What do you want?"

Dean took a bite of his burger and replied, “Fuck it, if you can't listen to me the first damn time I say it, don't worry about it."

"Ugh, gross. Stop talking with your mouth full."

Just then there was a loud pop and the lights went out. Sam jumped, startled by the noise then froze. Dean had already jumped up from his chair the second the lights went out and went to go get his gun. He cocked it and walked over to the window, inching the curtain back with his gun. It looked like the lights were out on the entire block. Dean slid the safety back on his gun and stuck it in the waistband of his jeans. He went back to eating and Sam laughed.

"Damn you’re jumpy."

"Should always expect the worst. You're the one that jumped a fucking mile in the air then sat there like you were a scared sack of shit."

"Shut the fuck up, Dean."

Dean finished his burger then got up and laid across the couch. There was really nothing to do with the power out so he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep as Sam finished his salad. It was hot and muggy so Sam changed into a pair of shorts. He walked over to the couch and debated on sitting by Dean or sitting in the chair. He wanted to be closer to Dean so he moved Dean's feet so he could sit down, putting them back across his lap.

Sam laid his head back against the couch and looked at Dean. He knew it was kind of weird but he liked to watch his brother sleep. Sam's eyes were scanning his body, he was laying on his back with one arm behind his head and one across his abdomen. Sam could see his long dark eyelashes fluttering and every once in a while a soft moan escaped his slightly parted lips. Sam was staring at his lips again, he saw Dean's tongue swipe across them and wondered if he was waking up. Dean shifted a little, his foot moving in Sam's lap dangerously close to his cock. He heard Dean muttering something but could not tell what he was saying. Suddenly he shifted more and rolled onto his side, although he had a nice view of his ass now, one of Dean's leg was now laying across his fully erect cock. Dean was restless, a few minutes later he flipped onto his stomach, one leg hanging off of the couch and the other barely on Sam at all.

Sam had to do something, it was getting to the point where he could not take it anymore. He had made up his mind that he was going to finally make a move that night. Now that the power was out there was nothing else to do and no where Dean could run off to like he usually did since no bars would be open without power. The few times Sam had actually attempted to make a move Dean had pretending like nothing happened and usually went to the bar but now he couldn't do that. 

Dean didn't sleep for very long. It had already been extremely hot, and now that the power was out it was so much more humid and almost unbearable. Sam felt Dean moving around stretching his muscles out, so he grabbed his laptop and pretended he was looking up information for the job. Dean sat up, rubbing his eyes.

 "Fuck, it’s hotter than hell in this bitch." Dean complained, pulling his shirt up to wipe the sweat off of his forehead. 

"Yeah, but it’s worse when you wear jeans when it’s a hundred degrees out. Why don’t you ever wear shorts?"

Dean shrugged. "I dunno, I just don't do shorts."

Sam wondered why, Dean had really athletic legs and he would love to be able to actually see them once in awhile. He didn't have scrawny slender legs, they were nice and thick like the rest of his body.  He pictured Dean wearing shorts, his perfectly toned thighs and calves and how he would look so damn hot in them as he would walk all bowlegged. The only time Sam saw his sexy legs was at night when Dean took his jeans off to go to bed, unless he passed out before he could take his clothes off. Sam tried to focus on his laptop rather than his brother's body. The battery on his laptop was getting low, but it was part of his plan to make a move on Dean so he continued to look for something he could show him.

Dean got up and started looking through the duffel bag they kept weapons and things for hunting in. He began pulling out clips, knives, and guns. Sam wondered if he was actually going to clean a gun right now but realized he was just looking for a few candles to light since it was starting to get dark out. All Sam could do was stare at the hollow of Dean’s back, he loved how his body was so muscular and thick with his broad shoulders and how perfect the curve of his perky ass made him just want to grab it. He wondered why he had to be the brother of the sexiest man alive. Of course he wouldn't trade a thing for Dean, and he would not ever want to not be Dean's brother, he loved being his brother but it would be much easier to admit to Dean that he loved him if he did not have to worry if Dean would think he was an incestuous freak for wanting him so bad.

"Fuck this. We should go to another motel."

"Powers out all over town, Dean."

Dean swore under this breath, he grabbed two beers out of the refrigerator and lit the candles. He popped the cap off of both and handed one to Sam, then took a long drink of his and set it on the coffee table. He stretched then pulled his shirt over head and laid back down on the couch. 

”This fucking sucks....So, what the hell are we supposed to do now? I'm fucking bored.”

Sam swallowed, a lump was forming in his throat almost as big as the one in his jeans. Dean was sprawled shirtless on the couch, one leg propped over the back and the other over Sam's lap. He was staring at the ceiling absently running his hand over his abs. Sam's eyes traveled down to the large bulge forming under the fly of his jeans, the way he was sitting gave Sam a clear view of his hard cock straining against the denim. Sam could feel the blood pounding in his temples, his stomach was in knots and his breathing becoming erratic. Not just from the fact that Dean was laying so close to him, touching him and he had his shirt off but also because Sam knew exactly what both of them could be doing right now. There might not ever be as good of an opportunity as this one and Sam knew it, but he also knew Dean and this was not going to be something that would be easy.

Dean leaned over to grab the beer he had set down on the table. Sam watched as the waistband of Dean’s jeans started sliding low on his abdomen. Dean was oblivious to Sam watching him and put the bottle up to his lips. As soon as Dean's full plump lips wrapped around the bottle, Sam had to turn away before he lost it. He tried concentrating on his laptop but he could see Dean out of the corner of his eye, and as always even though he was just sitting there drinking a beer he looked incredibly sexy doing it.

Sam got up and sat at the kitchen table. He angled himself so he could still watch Dean, but being that close was way too tempting. The entire time he was sitting on the couch he had to stop himself from touching Dean or kissing him, once Dean took his shirt off and laid his leg across him he just wanted to pounce on him and start kissing him until Dean fucked him. Even though he had decided he was going to make a move, he had to sit down and work the nerve up.

Sam let out a deep breath, he had to do this now. A few minutes later Sam found something about the case they were working on. He figured he might as well pretend it was important and get Dean to come by him and look at it, then he'd kiss him and take it from there. He was pretty sure Dean was going to resist or even get pissed but he just had to try and he had to do it before Dean got too bored and started drinking until he passed out.

“Hey get this, I found some leads on that case we're going to be working on tomorrow."

Dean really couldn't care less about the case right now. It felt like it was about a thousand degrees in the room, but he was bored as hell so he went over to look at what Sam had found.

Dean stood behind Sam, putting his hand on the back of his chair and leaning in close. Sam pointed to the screen and Dean scanned it, but when Dean glanced to the side he could no longer give a shit about anything except the fact that Sam was only a few inches away from his face. He licked his lips and saw Sam’s eyes flicker down to his mouth then back up to his eyes.

“Dean…um…”

Dean blinked, waiting for Sam to say something, when he didn't he started to get back up. Sam’s hand shot up and he put it on the back of Dean’s head, pulling him back down.

"What is it Sammy?" Dean whispered.

Sam took a deep breath, his hand still on the back of Dean’s head. Dean put a hand on Sam’s thigh, wondering if he should let this happen or not. Maybe it was the heat getting to him but he was seriously considering letting this happen.

Sam noticed that Dean seemed to be responding even better than he had ever imagined, he seemed like he wanted to kiss him. Sam prayed he was right and that Dean really wanted this because if his lips touched Dean's it would take everything in him not to keep kissing him until he was being fucked by his wet dream of an older brother.

Sam leaned forward, closing his eyes. He felt his lips press up against Dean’s. His lips felt even softer than he had imagined. Sam felt his heart hammering in his chest, he had dreamed of this for so long, he was finally doing it, and even though his lips had only been on Dean's for all of three seconds it was the best feeling in the world. Sam slowly opened his eyes, his lips still lingering on Dean’s. He looked stunned. Sam pulled back, he slid his hand down Dean’s face. Dean looked at him, studying his eyes, not sure what to do.

"Dean, I-"

Dean put his hand on Sam’s face and kissed him several times. Sam was surprised at how gentle and sensual the kisses felt, he always pictured Dean being rough, but Sam was sure he would be kissing him rough and hard if this wasn't the first time they kissed. 

Dean gradually slid his tongue into Sam’s mouth, working the kiss up more and more. Sam put an arm around Dean's neck, Dean's thumbs were caressing Sam's face. The kiss was getting heated and passionate. Sam moaned, it felt so incredible. He had never had a kiss so amazing in his life.

Sam opened his eyes, Dean's opened a few seconds later and Sam saw that his pupils were huge, but then he saw the slightest change in them. It would be unrecognizable to anyone who did not constantly stare at Dean's eyes, Sam's eyes changed colors and it was obvious. Dean's changed too but it was subtle, usually with his mood and Sam could tell from the way they slightly clouded over and no longer shimmered that Dean was having second thoughts about this and most likely feeling incredibly guilty. 

Dean pulled back. “Sam…I-I.” He sat back in the chair next to Sam and put his face in his hands. “Fuck.”

Sam didn't say anything, he knew Dean was going to resist, he had been surprised that Dean had actually taken it as far as he had, and this reaction was not the worst one he had imagined, it was actually much better than most of the scenarios he had thought about when imagining what would happen if he ever had the balls to make a move.

"Dean...what's wrong? Obviously we both want this and-"

"We can’t do this Sam, I can’t."

"Because we’re brothers?"

"Well yeah, but I mean…It’s my fault you feel this way Sam. I wanted this for so long and you probably got the wrong idea because of something I said or did…I probably led you on to think it was what you wanted and…anyway Sam, you deserve so much better, I can't drag you down anymore, I just can’t."

Dean got up and headed for the door, Sam jumped up and followed him.

Sam grabbed his arm before he was able to get to the door and pushed him hard against the wall, putting a hand on his hip to hold him there. He got as close to his face as he could and looked into his eyes. “Look at me Dean, I've wanted this forever...and it wasn't because you made me think it, I wanted this all on my own. I don’t give a  _fuck_  that you’re my brother you’re the  _only_  person I've ever felt this way about and I can’t take not being with you anymore.”

Dean looked down, trying not to look at Sam's eyes. He knew Sam would give him that look, making his eyes all big and puppy like and if he looked at them he would probably give in. 

"I've wanted this longer than you." Sam pressed a hard kiss to Dean’s lips. "This isn't your fucking fault." He kissed him again, pulling his bottom lip out with his teeth and sucking on it. "It’s no one’s fucking fault. You can’t help who you fall in love with Dean,  I fucking love you, I’m  _in love_   _with you_  and it fucking _kills_  me that you don’t-“

Dean grabbed Sam and spun him around, pushing him against the wall and pinning him back as he pressed his body hard against him. He pressed several sloppy deep kisses to Sam’s lips then went in for a full passionate kiss, a kiss so deep and full of want and need Sam felt dizzy and breathless. Dean’s ravaging mouth sucked any remaining breath out of his lungs. He was kissing and grabbing Sam like he was the last fuckable thing on Earth. Sam loved it, he wrapped his arms around his brother and pulled him close, moaning into his mouth. He was relishing the feeling of Dean pressed up tight against him, he was so worried Dean was going to snap out of it and resist again, he could tell Dean was still hesitating a little. 

"I fucking love you Sam." Dean kissed him again, rougher like Sam had been wanting "...been in love with you for a long fucking time."

Dean put his arm around Sam’s waist and pulled him tighter against him, grinding his hips into him. "Want you  _so_  fucking bad." He slid his hand down Sam’s shorts and grabbed his ass, kneading his fingers in and squeezing as he kissed Sam so hard he was gasping to breathe. While Sam struggled to catch his breath Dean kissed down his neck and started sucking down on it. "I want you more than anything Sammy but..."

Once again Dean's conscious took over. He pulled back and looked at Sam. He couldn't do this, couldn't risk that Sam didn't truly want this, but mostly he did not want to fuck his life up any worse then he already had.

"I-I'm sorry Sammy. I..I can't do this to you."

Dean turned but Sam grabbed him. He could feel his eyes sting and start to water, he had to convince Dean to do this, now that Dean had kissed him he had to have more, not just because he wanted sex, and he did want Dean to have sex with him so bad he could barely stand it, but the way he felt when Dean's lips were on him, when he held him and when he said he loved him, it was the best feeling in the world, and he wanted to be with Dean more than anything.

"Dean, stop. Just let it go, just give in for once in your life. Stop thinking you fuck everything up or that you have to protect me from everything. You know how bad it hurts not to be able to be with you?"

"Yeah Sam, I do. I feel it every day of my life, every second of every day. But you deserve  _so_  much better than this."

"You can't tell me just now that you didn't feel how....perfect and incredible that was."

"It is perfect, better than anything but...you deserve to be with someone just as perfect as you are Sam."

Dean took one last look at Sam then dug his keys out of his pocket as he headed for the door.

“Where you going?”

"I need a fucking drink. Gonna see if there’s a liquor store open."

"The entire city's power is out, Dean."

_"Fuck_." 

Dean walked out the door anyway and opened the trunk of the Impala, digging around. Sam followed him and watched what he was doing but didn't say anything. Finally Dean pulled a few flasks out and opened them, smelling the contents. He put the one with holy water back then pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.

"When did you start smoking again?"

"When you left."

Sam bit his lip. He hated to imagine what else Dean did when he was gone, he was sure he started smoking weed again, and probably even worse. He always got into bad things when he was depressed, he had watched him get high and drunk every time he had an argument with their dad. Dean had spent most of his life obsessing over how to make Sam's life better than his, and Sam wished he would just realize that he didn't need to torture himself by dwelling on the past or putting himself down. He had done a better job making Sam's life better than their dad ever would and he deserved to be happy too. Dean had to see that the only time either of them was ever happy was when they were together, and it would be so much better if they were  _really_  together.

Sam watched Dean smoke, each time he took a drag off the cigarette Sam could not take his eyes off of his lips. The way they wrapped around it, the way the smoke poured out of his beautiful luscious lips. Dean glanced up. “What?"

Sam shook his head “Look Dean, please stop blaming yourself for this, you shouldn't. It's all me, this is what I want. But I mean, don't you want it? It's not wrong if we both want it."

Dean took a long hit off of his cigarette and slowly blew the smoke out. He looked at Sam for a minute then looked down at the ground. “Yeah I do blame myself Sammy. You know I want this, but...You shouldn't want to…I obviously led you on somehow when you were a kid and…fuck I fucked your life up back then too. I tried  _so goddamn hard_  to make your life better than mine was and all I did was fuck it up even worse."

"You're wrong Dean, you were always the one good thing in my life. Why is it so hard to believe I want this? Do you hate yourself that much that you think no one could love you on their own?"

Dean looked up at Sam for a second then took a drink from the flask and held the other one up for Sam. Sam took it, expecting it to be whiskey but it tasted horrible and burned down his throat. “What the fuck is this shit?"

"Moonshine."

"What the fuck? Where did you even get it?"

"Got it when I was hunting this Shojo in Tennessee. I know it tastes horrible, but the shit will fuck you up quick though."

"Dean listen to me... you didn't lead me on ever. I wanted it on my own. You did  _NOT_  fuck my life up you …you did so much for me and I hate how you constantly think so little of yourself and most of all I hate how you push me away."

"Sammy…I want it, I really do... but, you're right. God, I already hate myself enough as it is, if I let this happen…"

Sam moved and stood right in front of Dean. Dean took the last hit off of his cigarette and flicked it across the parking lot, blowing the smoke away from Sam. Dean pushed himself up so he was sitting on the trunk of the Impala. Sam moved closer and put his hands on Dean’s thighs. Dean took a long drink from the flask. “Sammy..."

Dean was already getting pretty smashed from the potent alcohol. “I fucking love you Sammy. That…that’s why I-I can’t. I’d be a dick if…I did that to my baby brother."

"Dean, I'm a fucking adult and I know what I want."

Dean took a long drink. He didn't know what to do, he was to the point where he couldn't take not being with Sam, and obviously Sam wanted it just as bad. He looked up at Sam, who had been watching him. They looked at each other for several minutes before Dean blinked hard and looked away.

Sam ran his hands further up Dean's thighs and leaned in close to his face. Dean was looking down, so Sam pushed his head up so he'd look at him. Sam sighed then whispered, "Please Dean, I want this more than anything and...now that I know how good it is...I really can't live without it, without you. I  _need_  you De...please think about it?"

"I don't need to think about it Sam, I know I want it. I'll never be happy without you and I never want to be with anyone else I just..."

Sam waited for Dean to finish, he was surprised that his brother was opening up to him this much. He closed his eyes and prayed that Dean would just give in. Sam knew he was so close to giving in, and Sam could barely contain himself, it took every ounce of restraint to not just grab his brother and kiss him so hard until he took him in the room and fucked him senseless. Suddenly he felt Dean's hand gently caressing his face, then he felt his thumb rubbing his cheek before he slid his hand to his neck and slowly started pushing him closer. He felt Dean's lips press against his and he kissed him softly. Sam opened his eyes, he was looking into Dean's and they were red from the alcohol but it looked like they were watering, like he was holding back tears. He looked at Sam for a minute then leaned in and kissed his forehead, pulling Sam's head into his chest he whispered, "I don't know what to do."

Dean was smoothing his fingers through Sam's hair, Sam didn't say anything he just let Dean think. Sam looked up at Dean, and their eyes met. Dean put this hand under Sam's chin and pulled his head up closer to his. He kissed him again as he traced his finger down Sam's jaw. Dean pulled away and pressed his forehead against Sam's and looked at him for several minutes. His hand gently caressed Sam's face and he slowly moved his hand down his neck, he pushed Sam closer and kissed him softly. He made a trail of kisses to Sam's neck that were so soft and gentle Sam was shuddering, he could hardly breathe, and he still couldn't believe his hard-ass brother was so sensual, it was mind blowing and Sam could not stand to not be with him any longer. He grabbed Dean and pulled him to the end of the car so he was barely sitting on it. Dean wrapped his legs around Sam's waist and pulled him closer as he wrapped his arms around Sam, clutching his back while pushing his hips into him and spread his legs apart as wide as he could. Sam pressed into him hard, loving the feeling of his brother's hard cock pressed tightly against his.

Sam picked Dean up, he wrapped his legs around him and started kissing Sam hard and deep. Sam moaned as Dean grabbed fistfuls of his hair, grinding into him and deepening the kiss even more, the kiss was getting so intense he had to put Dean back down but he leaned over him. Dean slid his hand down Sam's shorts and traced his finger lightly over Sam's ass, then gently slid it across his rim. Sam moaned and pressed into Dean hard. Suddenly he remembered they were in a parking lot, every time his lips touched Dean's his brain shut down and he could no longer think. He reluctantly pulled back, Dean pulled him back down and kissed him with so much passion Sam felt like he was going to collapse. He let Dean continue to kiss him until he was light headed. Dean felt him struggling to breathe so he pulled back. Sam sprawled across his brother, gasping for air.

"Shit Sammy... _fuck_ that felt good."

Sam nodded and sucked in a deep breath. He buried his head into Dean's neck and inhaled his intoxicating scent, moaning softly. Everything about this was perfect, the way Dean's arm felt around him, the way Sam felt when Dean kissed him, it felt like nothing he had ever felt, like an amazing blissful high. It was unbelievable how he could feel pure ecstasy from a kiss.

Sam was amazed by the change he saw in his brother, his whole life Dean had always been different around Sam when he was growing up, he treated him like no one else ever did, he was could be the so loving and gentle with him but most of the time he was this tough, bad ass that did not share feelings and never showed any emotion. But something was different, the way he was holding back, Sam knew more than anything Dean wanted to have hot kinky rough sex, he had heard him doing it his whole life, sometimes only a few feet away from him. Sam had never seen his brother kiss someone like he was kissing him, he could tell Dean truly loved him by the way he looked at him, touched him, and the way he kissed him. It was so amazing and good it was indescribable. Sam loved when Dean got rough and kissed him hard and with so much passion he forgot who he was or how to breathe but it shocked him how amazingly sensual he could be too. It was absolutely mind blowing and he loved that he was the only one that would ever see that side of Dean, if only he could convince him to do this. He had to because now that he got a small glimpse of how incredible it would be, there was no way in hell he could live without this, especially because just the kisses were enough to give him an orgasm he couldn't imagine how amazing sex would be.

Dean was lightly running his hand down Sam's back, waiting for him to calm down as he drank more of the potent alcohol.

"Dean...please. Nothing has ever felt this damn amazing..you can't tell me that you can stop now..."

"I can't stop Sammy..I-I want it but you gotta understand how hard it is for me to let his happen."

Sam pulled Dean into a tight hug. "Just...let go Dean, please. Just let it happen because we both want it and I know I need it, I can't live without you Dean, and I need more especially now because I see how amazing it would be."

Sam pulled back to look at Dean. He was about to answer but when Sam moved back he started swaying back and forth so Sam tried to take the flask from Dean but he swatted his hand away and downed the rest. Sam pushed Dean back, resting his hand low on Dean' abdomen, accidentally pushing a little too hard. Suddenly Dean gasped as he felt immense pressure on his bladder and sat up, trying to get out of Sam's grasp. “M-Move Sammy. I-I gotta piss.” 

Dean hopped off of the car and stumbled forward. Sam caught him before he landed face first on the pavement. “G-guess I’m a little um…a lot fucked up, huh?”

Sam took a deep breath and tried pulling Dean up more, he stooped down and draped Dean’s arm around his shoulder.

“Sammmmy.” Dean slurred. “I...I’m serious gotta fucking piss.  _Now_.” 

Sam drug Dean in the room, kicking the door closed and holding on to Dean while he locked it.

“Fuck the door Sam.” Dean grabbed his crotch and started bouncing his leg. “ _Fuck_  I can’t wait.”

He turned to start walking to the bathroom, swaying. He almost tripped but caught himself on the edge of the couch. He stood up a little and stumbled into the couch. “Shit.”

Sam put his arm around Dean's waist and drug him into the bathroom. Sam didn't think he could stand still long enough to go. "You’re smashed Dean just...sit down and go."

"Sit? Fuck that I ain't a fucking girl Sam. Just stand behind me and hold me up."

Sam sighed. He maneuvered Dean around and held on to his waist, but when he went to go stand behind him he swayed forward too much. Sam stood next to him with his arm firmly around his shoulders. “Just fucking go Dean, you need to go lay down."

"G-give me a damn minute my fucking zipper is being a bitch."

Sam looked up at the ceiling, Dean was driving him insane. They finally knew that they both wanted it, they were so close but of course he had to be stubborn. As always he had to get drunk to deal with things and now he was wasted. 

Finally Dean got his pants undone and started going. “Fuck didn't think I was gonna make it.” He sighed loudly as he started going. “Shit. You ever have to go so bad it feels really damn good when you go?”

Sam looked at Dean, he had a goofy grin on his face. “Yeah Dean. Sometimes you fuck with me and you make me hold it until I can barely stand it."

Dean chucked. “Damn I’m an asshole sometimes. Why the hell do you love me Sam? I’m a fucking dick to you."

"Not all the time."

Dean pushed his jeans down and stepped on them, stumbling back but Sam caught him. “What are you doing now?”

"Had to get those fucking things off. It’s so goddamn hot and fuck they're squeezing the shit out of my cock."

Dean turned to look at Sam. “Look Sammy. I-I..” Dean blinked, his eyes were glassy and his pupils were huge. “I don’t even know anymore...I just need to think OK? But I'm not sayin’ no. I...I want this but just give me a few minutes to think.”

Sam put his arm around Dean's waist and tried pulling him to the door. "Wait..." Dean grabbed Sam's hand and ran his thumb over his soft skin. He looked down and sighed then in a barley audible whisper he said, "I'm so sorry Sammy."

"For what?"

"Everything OK? I’m sorry that I’m so fucking drunk right now and... that I can’t be everything that you want me to be and that I don't know what the fuck to do anymore."

"Dean…it’s fine, you’re drunk. Why don’t you just sleep it off, we can talk tomorrow."

"Don’t like talking Sammy. Just…let me think ‘K?" Dean pulled Sam down so he was closer. "I love you Sammy just think you’d be making a mistake wasting your life with me."

Sam sighed and tried picking Dean up but he didn't like being manhandled by his younger brother so he stubbornly wiggled out of his grip. Sam wrapped his arms around Dean and lifted him up "Put your legs around me."

Sam was surprised that Dean actually listened. He carried Dean out of the bathroom and plopped him on to the nearest bed. He pushed Dean back and straddled his hips. He put his hand on his face and held it so he would look at him. “DEAN. Stop fucking acting like you fuck everything up. You have never fucked up my life and— I want to be with you and you know what? What you're doing to me now is so much fucking worse. You think it’s wrong for some reason but would you rather do something we both obviously want or have both of us suffering over all of the fucking pain of wanting something so close but never getting it.”

"Sammy…ugh I don’t know I’m fucking drunk and the room is spinning and-" 

"Dean…it’s fine just get some sleep."

Dean grabbed Sam's hand and pulled him down closer. "Will you sleep by me?"

Sam felt his heart start hammering in his chest. He smiled and squeezed Dean's hand. “Yeah, just give me a minute."

Dean pulled Sam even closer and gave him a kiss, Sam let his lips linger on Dean's so Dean slid his tongue into Sam's mouth. He felt Dean brush his hair out of his eyes and grab a handful of his hair. When Dean pulled away he held onto the back of Sam's head, he leaned into him, his forehead against Sam's. "Go do what you gotta do....I'll let you know what I think about all this when you get back."

Dean kissed Sam one last time then pulled away and moved up to the top of the bed. Sam went into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He really hoped Dean would just give in, he seemed like he wanted it bad enough to give in. Maybe it was good that he was drunk because it was usually the only time Dean ever let his guard down. Sam wanted to try to convince Dean to let this happen, he just hoped he wasn't passed out already.

When Sam came back Dean was laying under the covers. Sam took his jeans off and moved the covers and climbed in. He wasn't sure how Dean wanted him to lay, just as Sam laid down and turned onto his side, Dean wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close.

Dean looked into Sam's eyes, a slight smile on his face. "Thought about it..." Dean leaned in and kissed Sam several times, continuing to talk in between kisses. "..really I didn't have to think about it.." Dean kissed Sam's neck and sucked down on it lightly, his breath licking Sam like a flame. Sam moaned and pulled Dean closer, wrapping an arm around his neck and stroking it. "God I just...I want you so fucking bad..." Dean trailed kisses back up Sam's neck, his hand grabbing fistfuls of Sam's hair and running his other hand down his chest. "...not just sex, but god I want to have sex with you..." Dean kissed Sam's jaw and muttered against Sam's lips, "I want it because I fucking love you so damn much."

Sam moaned as Dean deepened the kiss, he licked his way into Sam's mouth and kissed him hard. Sam let Dean kiss him, forgetting what he was going to say as Dean's hand fell to the small of his back and pressed him hard against his body. Sam prayed he was sure this time, and it really seemed like he was. Sam pulled back, Dean paused and looked up. Sam pressed his lips to Dean's. He looked into his pupil blown eyes and replied, "Dean, I really want this because I love you too, but are you sure this time?"

Dean nodded. Sam prayed Dean wouldn't start to feel guilty again. "You really sure?"

Dean leaned in and kissed Sam hard. "Mmm hmm." He agreed against his lips, kissing him with so much intensity and passion. 

"Promise." Dean whispered as he started kissing Sam's neck, softly trailing kisses down his neck.

Sam slid his hand down down Dean’s chest, when he got down to his abdomen he brushed against his fully erect cock. He moaned softly when he realized he was naked. Sam slid his finger down his cock.

“Fuck Sammy.” Dean gasped. “I can’t do it anymore, I can’t pretend that I don’t fucking think about being with you every second of the day and when you kissed me…fuck I-I’ll never be able to stop myself once this starts. It consumes me and I've never wanted anything more than this. But are you sure this is what you really want? I can’t do this unless you're completely sure this is what you want. If things went there then you changed your mind...god it will fucking kill me if I lose you again."

"Dean, I will never change my mind. I know you don't want me to talk about it but I'm so sorry I left you and I want to spend the rest of my life hating myself for that but I'd rather spend it making it up to you, I will because I want to prove to you I want you and only you more than anything. I've wanted it so bad for as long as I can remember. I've tried doing other things, being with other people but it will never ever make me happy because this is all I want and-"

"You don't have to prove a damn thing Sammy, just lay back and enjoy this...because god damn it's going to be so fucking amazing to finally do this."

Dean pushed Sam on to his back and started kissing him hard, laying over him. He ran his hand through Sam’s hair and down his face, tracing his jaw then down his neck. He slid his other hand down his chest while slowly grinding into him. He deepened the kiss as Sam moaned into his mouth, it felt so good and he was sure Dean was completely sure this time. 

Sam put a hand on Dean’s neck, sliding it up and gripping his short hair, twirling his fingers through it as he slid his other hand down his back. He loved how it felt to have Dean on top of him, not like a girl with supple muscles. Dean’s muscles were firm and Sam could feel his muscles flexing as he slid a hand on his huge bicep. He loved the feeling of Dean’s muscular body and when he put a hand on his ass, he dug his fingers into it, kneading them in as Dean knelt up and pulled him up. He moaned when he felt Dean pull him up, he was so strong and Sam loved how it felt to feel Dean's arm wrapped firmly around him as he pulled Sam’s shirt off then pushed him back down. Dean trailed kisses across Sam's chest then started sucking on his neck as his hand went to his nipple. He tweaked it a few times to make sure he liked it, and when he got a moan out of him he tugged on it as he went down to suck on the other one.

Sam gasped as Dean flicked his nipple with his tongue as he rolled the other hard bud between his fingers. He grazed his teeth over it then started sucking down. Dean heard Sam moan his name, the way he said it made his dick twitch hard. Sam pushed his hips up, trying desperately to get stimulation as he rutted against Dean’s abdomen. Dean tugged on Sam's boxers until Sam got the message and pushed them off.

Dean was swaying a little but he seemed to be so focused on getting what he had wanted for so long that not even the alcohol could slow him down. Dean pushed Sam's legs apart further and gently ran his finger over Sam’s rim, when he felt him tense up he pulled back and got off the bed.

“Dean…” Sam complained

"One sec Sammy…shit I gotta find…" Dean thought for a minute then started digging through Sam’s bag. Sam saw him stumble and almost fall but he caught himself on the edge of the couch.

"Dean....you're gonna end up falling just come back here. What’re you…" Sam saw Dean grin and pull out a bottle of lotion.

"Good thing you like this girly lotion."

Sam sat up when Dean bumped into the bed and tumbled on it. He pushed Dean down and laid over him. Dean smirked and slurred, "W-who said you get to be on top?"

"You're too drunk to hold yourself up."

"The hell I am," Dean sat up a little too quick then fell back when he got a head rush. "Shit."

"I could ride you...then tomorrow if you stay sober you can-"

"Bend you over and fuck you into the mattress? Cuz shit, I've always wanted to do that. Think about it every time I look at your ass. Think about how bad I want you all the damn time. You're fucking hot and god damn you make me so fucking horny all the damn time."

"Shit..you have no idea what you do to me Dean, you don't have to be doing a damn thing. Every fucking thing you do makes me horny as fuck." Sam paused, he wondered if Dean had ever done this before. "Umm, Dean...have you ever…?"

"What?"

"Been with a guy?"

"What, like sex?"

Sam rolled his eyes. "Yes."

"Not  _sex_  sex."

"What does that even mean?"

"Have you?"

"No, so what have you done then?"

"Ugh Sammy you...you're the only one that matters...so c'mon."

Sam shook his head and bit his lip. "So you've...fucked a guy or let someone f-"

_"NO!_ " Dean answered sharply. "God, I would _never_ let anyone fuck me...unless it was you, you're the _only_ one I'd ever let do that."

Sam smiled. "Really?"

"Yes, and I've never fucked a guy in the ass."

Sam raised an eyebrow up at him.

"Ugh geez Sam do we have to talk about this now? Yeah I fucked a couple girls in the ass...but you know what? I was thinking about you the whole damn time, I always do, it's the only way I can get off."

"Really?"

"Yeah, think about you every time I jack off, every time I have sex or get head or anything."

"So...what did you do with a guy then?"

"Fuck Sammy...look, back in high school there was this jock who was sweating my balls and he kept hitting on me so I let him give me a blow job, and once I was really drunk at a bar and before I even really knew what was happening this guy was sucking my dick under the table..but I mean I've never ever been attracted to any guy, or girl, like I am to you...so please just forget about my past...and about everything. I want to get back to what we were doing..."

Sam smiled and kissed Dean. "So you'd let me...fuck you?"

Dean pulled Sam into a kiss. "Of course I would..why wouldn't I?"

"You just seem like...you wouldn't want to..."

"I want to feel you inside me, want you to fuck me so fucking hard...but right now I want you to ride my cock, ohh fuck it's gonna be so good. Talk later, ok? I can barely stand waiting anymore."

Sam kissed Dean as he straddled his hips. Dean laid back on the bed and pulled Sam down, kissing him softly on the lips. He shifted Sam over him and pushed his legs apart. 

“Don’t worry I’ll start slow. I can be gentle even though I know you think I can’t. Even though I want to fuck you so hard into this mattress right now."

Dean started kissing Sam as he put some lotion on his fingers and rubbed them together. Sam tried to focus on Dean kissing him, he never really thought about anything but wanting Dean to fuck him, now that it was about to happen he was getting anxious about how it would feel.

Dean teased the tip of his finger around Sam’s rim. He barely stuck it inside and he could tell Sam was already tensing up. Dean kissed him then pulled back. "Breathe Sammy. I'd never hurt you. You sure you want to do this?"

Sam took a breath and held it. "Yes, just do it."

He felt Dean’s lips curve against his neck, then he started lightly biting along his jaw, trailing his tongue up to Sam’s ear. He felt Dean's hot breath lick him like a flame as he whispered, "Relax.”

Sam took a deep breath and bit down on his lip. He slammed his eyes shut when Dean’s hand fell heavy on his thigh. He felt Dean shift then suddenly he felt Dean grinding into him, rocking his hips. The sensation felt so good he barley noticed Dean slide a finger in. Dean continued to distract him with his mouth running over his neck as Dean had worked another finger in and it suddenly felt amazing. Sam's eyes flew open and a loud moan escaped from his swollen, bitten lips. 

"Yeah...feels good doesn't it?"

Sam gasped, nodding his head and pushing back on Dean's fingers. Dean started thrusting them in harder as Sam rocked back on to them.

"Dean!" Sam yelled as Dean scissored his fingers around his prostate. "Oh fuck..."

Dean eased a third finger in, Sam pushed up on Dean's chest and rocked hard into them.

"Damn Sammy, so fucking hot."

After a few more thrusts Sam pulled Dean's hand back and moved to straddle his hips. He wrapped his hand around Dean's cock and eased down slowly onto it. Sam held his breath and started pushing down harder, he wanted and needed Dean in him so bad he was willing to take the pain because he knew it would feel good soon. Just as he started forcing himself down he felt Dean firmly grab his hips and stop him.

"Take your time Sammy...don't want it to hurt you."

Sam tried wiggling out of Dean's grip but it just made him press his fingers into him more.

"C'mon Dean, want it so fucking bad, I don't want to wait anymore."

Dean circled his hips and slowly eased in to Sam. "I want it bad too baby but you gotta wait...no way in hell I'm gonna ram in and hurt you."

Dean pulled back, Sam was still pushing down on him but he held his hips firmly. He slowly entered him inch by inch, he was so tight Dean could hardly wait to get all the way in, but it was so tight it kind of hurt him too so he knew it was hurting Sam. Dean rocked his hips slowly in and out until he was about half way in. He felt Sam push down hard on him and the muscle started to relax. Dean eased his grip on Sam's hips and let him thrust down. "Go slow until it feels good and I'll let go, k?"

Sam nodded so Dean let go, Sam leaned forward putting his hands on Dean's chest. Dean ran his hands up Sam's sides, and traveled up to his neck, he put his hands on Sam's face and leaned forward. He kissed him, plunging his tongue into his mouth and kissing him hard so Sam would get caught up in the kiss and finally relax enough so he could get his cock all the way in him. Sam moaned and pushed back, as Dean's tongue swept greedily along his mouth Sam melted into his touch, sinking into Dean, Dean gently thrust up into him until he felt his balls firmly against his ass. He pulled away and laid back. Sam moaned and started bucking his hips he finally felt the pressure and burning lessen, he felt so full but the feeling of his brother's huge cock filling him up was amazing, he started rocking back and forth moaning. "Ohh Dean...oh my god it's....shit so fucking good."

Dean grunted a response, it was feeling too incredible to try to talk. His brother's ass was so tight and he fit in it so perfect. Each time Sam bucked his hips it send a rush of pleasure through his entire body. Dean started thrusting up into Sam and it felt indescribably amazing, the pleasure coursing through him was overwhelming, and seeing his brother ride his cock was making it hard to not just bust a nut. Dean had thought about this for years and seeing Sam bounce around on his cock was almost more than he could take, it was so damn hot. He cursed himself for being stubborn for so many years. Sam shifted and started riding Dean hard and all thoughts and regrets were lost, all Dean could do was thrust into Sam and feel the amazing ecstasy of his dick pumping in and out of his brother's ass.

"FUCK....oh _fuck_ ," Dean gasped. Dean closed his eyes and thrust into Sam as hard as he could, moaning and grunting. He never felt so much pleasure in his life, and he had done so many sexual things this beat them all by far. "Sammy....ohhhh shit baby so fucking good."

Dean opened his eyes and groaned. "Jesus Sammy...fuck you look so god damn fucking hot riding me...holy shit and it feels fucking incredible, better than anything."

Sam moaned and leaned forward, his hands pushing down on Dean's chest. The change of the angle made it easier for Dean to thrust in, he put his hands on Sam's hips and thrust into him hard and fast. Sam gasped and screamed out, "Dean! OHHH FUCK...just like that De, oh my fucking god Dean..."

Sam was moaning and groaning and pushing hard into Dean. Each time Dean pulled out and slammed in his cock stuck his prostate hard. Sam's mouth fell open and his arms started to wobble. He felt like his bones were melting away and he could barely hold himself up anymore. He was yelling out Dean's name and cursing when his voice cut out and he started shuddering. He fell onto Dean and felt Dean wrap his muscular arms around him and roll them over.

Dean kissed Sam hard then knelt up between his legs. Dean put his hands firmly on Sam's thighs and pushed them up, spreading him wide open and putting one of his long slender legs over each of his shoulders. Dean slowly pulled almost all the way out of Sam, they both groaned at the feeling of Dean's cock slowly inching out, Dean slowly inched back in and out again. Then he put his hands on Sam's hips and pulled Sam into his thrust, pushing hard and deep into him. Dean started rocking into Sam faster with each thrust until he was pounding into him as hard and fast as he could.

Sam some how managed to move his arms enough to wrap them around Dean's neck, he had lost the sensation of having bones but now it felt like he couldn't even control anything. It took everything in him to move his arms and he couldn't stop the constant stream of moans from flying out of his mouth, when Dean thrust in he kept yelling out his name, which made Dean go harder and faster. Sam spent more than half of his life fantasizing about this, he could hardly believe it was finally happening and it was so far from what he imagined. He knew it was going to be amazing, but amazing did not even come close to describing how incredibly wonderful it felt to have Dean's big cock plunging in and out of him, or to have Dean's arms around him, his hands running over every inch of his body and his lips and tongue slowly driving him completely insane. Sam never wanted it to end, he could lay there and let Dean fuck him until the world ended.

Dean leaned down and started sucking on Sam's neck. He licked a trail up to his ear, his breathing was heavy and erratic, sending fire down Sam's skin and a shiver up his spine. Dean's low sexy voice sounded strained as he whispered in his ear, "Fuck Sammy....oh Sammy so fucking good...is it good baby? Everything you thought it would be?"

Sam slid his hand up Dean's neck and pushed him into his lips moaning. "Dean.." Sam gasped. "N-no...it's so much fucking better, ohhh..." Sam paused as Dean slowly inched out, Sam groaned at the feeling of every inch sliding out of him then Dean thrust in hard and fast. "Ohhhh shit shit _shit_....De..oh fuck it's fucking unbelievable...just like that...ohhh yeah."

Dean slowly inched out again, he knelt back up and held Sam's hips as he thrust in as hard as he could, getting Sam to yell so loud it bounced off the walls. Dean grunted and pushed Sam's thighs up to his shoulders, holding on to them as he started bucking his hips hard and fast in and out of his brother. He threw his head back, a steady litany of curses coming out of his mouth, he kept moaning his brother's name as he ran his hands up and down his thighs then slid his palm up his leaking cock. He spread the fluid down Sam's shaft and started pumping his fist in the same rhythm he was pumping into his ass.

Sam was losing it, he knew was going to come soon, and was really surprised he had not already. Everything was so overwhelming his brain short circuited and he could do nothing but moan and stare up at Dean. The feeling of Dean plunging into him, his hands running all over his body, his lips all over every inch of him was almost more than he could take. He couldn't take his eyes off of his hot older brother, his hair was wet and sticking up, it looked so damn sexy. His lips were even fuller from being bitten so hard and from kissing and sucking on Sam so much. His beautiful eyes were huge, pupils completely dilated and they were hooded, he looked so damn gorgeous Sam could have come from that alone.

Sam sat up and pulled Dean close, crushing his lips to his. He wrapped his arms tighter around his brother, clutching him hard and digging his fingers into his shoulder as the other hand grabbed handfuls of his hair. Dean moaned into his mouth, grabbing fistfuls of Sam's hair, humping into him as hard as he could. He tried sliding a hand in between them to wrap his fist around Sam's cock but Sam shook his head and pulled him closer. 

Sam muttered against his lips, "I want to feel you against me, feels so fucking good."

Dean wrapped his arms tighter around his brother, holding him as close as he could possibly get him, pulling him up and down to meet each thrust. Dean's tongue was licking brutally around Sam's mouth, his hand going between caressing his face to tugging on his hair. His other arm was wrapped tightly around him, Sam relished the feeling of being so close, it felt almost as good as sex itself. He had a hand on Dean's ass and one on the back of his neck, he could feel each of Dean's muscles flexing as he pounded so hard and fast into him and it was so hot. Dean was kissing him so intense and passionately that Sam felt like he might burst into flames, and the feeling of Dean's muscular arms holding him tight had precome sweating out of his cock that was being stimulated each time Dean pressed harder into him with every thrust and roll of his hips.

Dean could not tear his lips away from his brother's or stop touching every inch of his body. He wished he had not been so damn stubborn and let this happen years ago. This was the single best thing that had ever happened to him, because Sam was the one and only thing in his life that was good. He pushed all of his regrets aside because he wanted to just enjoy this, he never did a damn thing for himself and this was for Sam too so he wanted to make it the best for him.

Dean could tell that Sam was struggling to breathe so he pulled away and started sucking on his neck. Sam was flushed and flustered. He felt dizzy and unlike he ever had before. Each and every kiss and touch from Dean had him feeling pure ecstasy. Sam started sucking down on Dean's shoulder, when he got a moan out of Dean he bit down. Dean was grunting now so Sam bit down harder.

"Sammy," Dean gasped, "Ohhh baby I fucking love this...I-I fucking love you Sammy. _So_ damn much, more than anything, even more than this and fuck.... _fuck_ this is the best."

Hearing Dean finally say what Sam had felt forever and always wanted him to feel too made Sam lose it. He felt his stomach tighten and his balls rising up tight, he was so close he never wanted it to end but he knew they would be doing this nonstop from now on. He jerked Dean's head up and looked into his eyes. "I love you De." He moaned as Dean pushed him back, laying over the top of him and started pumping hard and fast like a piston into Sam faster and harder than he would have thought possible. Dean dipped down and hit Sam's prostate just right, he felt Sam tightening around him, Dean winced, it felt so fucking good.

"Ohhh son of a _bitch_ Sammy... _so fucking tight_..oh god you're getting tight as fuck and its so _fucking_ good..ohhh shit..."

They both screamed out. Dean shifted slightly and started running his fist up Sam's cock. Sam felt his stomach clench harder and Dean felt him start to tighten even more around him. Dean held Sam's hips steady and thrust into him so each time he was pounding across Sam's prostate. Sam was writhing around the bed, his leg fell from Dean's shoulder so he wrapped it around his waist. Dean bent down and kissed Sam, their teeth grazing each other, the kiss sloppy but still hot and intense as they both started coming within seconds of each other.

"Dean...ohhh Dean so fucking good I-" Sam's voice cut out, Dean thrust into him a few more times, then was only slightly able circle his hips because Sam was so tight around him. Sam was climaxing so hard and when he felt Dean come inside of him it felt amazing and he screamed out his name, getting a load groan out of his brother.

"Sammy," Dean gasped and collapsed, using his last bit of energy to land next to Sam but was mostly sprawled across him. They were both panting and pouring sweat but feeling incredible from the orgasmic high of the best sex ever.

Dean finally felt like he could move again so he shifted a little and rolled on his side. He pulled Sam next to him and traced his finger over every beautiful feature of his face. He caressed his cheek with his hand and rubbed his thumb lightly across his face as he gently pulled Sam close and softly pressed his lips to Sam's. Sam closed his eyes and let Dean slowly kiss him, it felt so incredibly amazing, especially when Dean moved his hand and started slowly ghosting his fingers across Sam's back. He gradually started to lightly massage his spine and shoulders, while his tongue slowly rolled around in his mouth, tracing every inch. Sam was moaning and holding Dean close, his hand softly kneading from Dean's neck down to his ass. Gradually the kiss got more and more heated until it was the most passionate sensual kiss either of them ever had, their hands traveling all over each other's bodies. They kissed and groped each other for a long time, hours. Holding each other close and never wanting to stop because this was all they had ever wanted. They spent the rest of the night and most of the next day having sex, now that they finally had given in to what they both wanted they never wanted to stop, they couldn't stop because it was the best damn thing in the world and the only thing either of them needed. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I just like writing first time fics...hope you liked this one =)  
> 


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